I remember a time when most little girls wore brown plaid slacks with brown velour cowl necks, or red turtlenecks with red and navy plaid pants. (Yeah, I grew up in the ‘70s.)
We didn’t wear pink, and we chomped on chips all we wanted. And if we drank soda, you’d better believe we burped.
Now, in 2018, females have been told — just this week, in fact — that PepsiCo was thinking of developing a new line of snack chips for women, in part because we just don’t like that loud crunching. Is the assumption that girls and women now do not want to be thought so un-ladylike as to make any noise at all when they eat Doritos?
Yes, women want to be seen, but not heard, while eating.
Has this been a major concern for us? Are women back to not eating in front of men for fear of appearing to, say, have an appetite? Are women afraid to make noise in a room? And how good can a chip be if it’s not very crunchy, anyway?
After Twitter went crazy about this, PepsiCo denied that it is coming up with any such products for women. But its CEO, Indra Nooyi, did indeed talk about such special ideas for non-crunching gals who hate dirty fingers in a weekend Freakonomics Podcast:
“It’s not a male and female as much as ‘are there snacks for women that can be designed and packaged differently?’ And, yes, we are looking at at can be designed and packaged differently? And, yes, we are looking at it, and we’re getting ready to launch a bunch of them soon. For women, low-crunch, the full taste profile, not have so much of the flavor stick on the fingers, and how can you put it in a purse? Because women love to carry a snack in their purse.”
Many businesses do believe women want to buy stuff that makes us into perfect, demure princesses: Do you remember those Bic pens for women, Bic for Her — well, because we need more petite writing implements, specially made in pink and purple shades? Or those pink boxes of standard tools for women — because we will only use a wrench if it comes in a pink case, like a Barbie doll would favor?
Other bygone attempts to heavily market things that are obviously not needed by women included FDS, Feminine Deodorant Spray, and douches. (And they are still sold, despite doctors’ warnings that they could be harmful.) What do these things all have in common, other than being packaged in pink and purple and maybe even having pretty pictures of butterflies?
Well, the companies must assume women are so insecure and care so much what others think of them that they will be easily separated from their money, and buy this useless crap to make them feel pretty or dainty.
The thoughts that would have to be going through our female brains in order to decide to buy such waste include the following paranoid fears:
Am I eating too loudly?
Is a wrench too difficult for me to use? (Wait, no. It’s pink. It’s for me!)
Will my hand look too manly if I use a big black pen?
Does my self-cleaning reproductive organ smell bad to others? How about I risk inducing an infection with a spray to prevent those offputting imaginary odors?
Unfortunately, the very existence of such products telegraphs to women and girls that they should in fact be fearful of a loud crunch. What the companies are selling is not chips, not tools, not deodorant sprays, but shame, and a need for invisibility: No noise, no forcefulness, no smell.
Enough already. What we really need is a giant Landfill Just for Her — preferably with a pink fence — so we can get rid of all of these nonsensical garbage products before they do more damage to the psyches of a new generation of females.
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